The Truth in Lies Between Fact and Fiction
by Penelope Tweed
Summary: challenge, Mega POV. set AU. Seena aproved.


I decided to do a comedy for once and shed a brighter light on Mega. This is one of my favorites.

Title: The truth in lies between fact and fiction

Main character: Mega

Others to include: Lex, Lottie, KC, May, Salene, Danni, Amber, Ebony, Ryan, Ram, Slade, Alice, Jack, Patch, Ellie, and Trudy

Challenge by: Seena (duh)

Words: compliance, blue collar, presbyterianism, dharma, phascolarctidae, winter, remote, Akershus Festning, Guy Fawkes Night, kauri, and pakeha

Sentences: "But if you're out on a date don't you bring her home late cause it's a sin", "I'm a man - I'm a little girl", "Foreign types with the hookah pipes say: Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh"

**The Truth in Lies**

**Between Fact and Fiction**

I hate high school. No, I really do. It's pointless. All an illusion. They say that it's about learning when all I see going on is my brother making out with his girlfriend Trudy by the fountain. In the dark corner I can see Amber and Ebony practically having clothed sex against the brick wall, I wonder what Amber's boyfriend, Bray, would say about that? The other day Amber's fuck buddy was the goth Danni. Talk about trashy. The point is, school is about dating and sex. No matter who you are. Even the ones good at school; Jack, Patch, Ram spend all their time with their girlfriends Ellie, Dee, and Ruby when they aren't doing work. Women ruin a man, plain and simple.

I like to believe I'm above them with that. I don't need women to function or satisfy my needs. I truly am, what my brother likes to call me behind my back, asexual. When you have a girlfriend, or boyfriend in Darryl's case, they have the ability to control you. Women know what you want and once you get it, they know you'll want it again and will do anything for it. I've seen this all too many times with Trudy and my brother. Well, half brother. His mom, who's blue collar and of Pakeha decent, married my dad who's white collar and of Maori decent. How do things like that happen?

Either way, she can get him to do anything. All she has to do is bat her eyes and whisper promises into his ear and he's off. I certainly never believed that Slade could be controlled at all. But it was never out of the question.

At least she's better than Ebony, not by much but then again anything is better than her. What a nightmare those two were. Thank god he dumped her. We'd be watching TV and they'd be dry humping on the couch right next to me, knocking over the drinks and ruining the kauri varnish on the coffee table. I don't know how much more I could've taken before I killed her myself. She was always calling for him and climbing on him in public. Not to mention the fact that she wanted to be his everything and have his whole world revolve around her. All sex, that's what that relationship was.

Trudy's annoying as I'll get out, but as I said, anything's better than Ebony. I don't get what he sees in her. She has a kid and she's only sixteen. And the father killed himself before the brat came to term. Who in their right mind would even consider being with someone like her. Not to mention she spends half the time fluctuating from one extreme to the next, either a mother or a child.

Then there was Ellie and Jack. They are practically attached to each other. So much so that everyone who isn't their friend calls them, get this, "Jellie". Jack is so incredibly whipped, it astounds even me. I've never seen such a pathetic sight, even Patch has more of a backbone then him and that's saying a lot. What really amazes me though is the man's compliance. Ellie doesn't force him to be submissive, he just is. But that doesn't mean they fight. Some of their arguments could be heard on the other end of the school. One minute they're screaming insults and the next they're rolling around on the floor doing another type of screaming.

The sex must be great, lord knows they have enough of it, because I have no idea why else a smart guy like Jack would stick around with someone so bossy. It's horrible at parties. They work like clockwork. Someone will make some ambiguous sexual reference, Ellie will giggle and whisper into his ear, she'll excuse herself to go to the bathroom or something lame, five minutes later he'll go "check on her" and rush up the stairs, then the next thing you hear will maybe be some creaking and muffled sounds. Oh the humanity. Alice would have a heart attack if she found out about her sister's activities, but she's off visiting Akershus Festning with her husband, Ned, and their two twin brats, Andy and Tally.

But no one has more sex than Ram and Ruby. Not even the rabbits Ellie and Jack. These two thrive on sex. Worse is that they don't even engage in the battles that Jellie do before the ripping off clothes commences. They just are that horny. Maybe he's sterile. That has to be the only reason why they don't have a brat of their own yet. Trudy gets pregnant on the first try and they have done it who knows how many times and still nothing. And what's even worse than that is that they actually enjoy each other's company. They like being together and just talking. Ok, most of their conversations consist of witty banter and issues or just plain random topics or issues, but it's still strange. I've yet to figure it out. Maybe I never will. The only couple other than them to be put into the same, almost exact, category would be May and Salene.

Like Ruby and Ram, in public they just sit on one's lap and remain apart of the conversation while in private they can't keep their hands off each other. I don't really see the appeal of watching two lesbians go at eachother, but for some reason it's a huge hit with the other guys. Why watch them when they could actually be doing their homework and not be failing. Maybe even end up with a job that doesn't require the phrase 'Would you like fries with that?'. One time on Guy Fawkes Night last year, the two had gotten incredibly drunk and ended up almost nearly having full out sex on the living room floor with Ram recording the whole thing. Lucky for them Ruby, who's May's best friend, snatched the tape. Rumor has it she kept it for herself. Other people believe she along with May and Salene burned it. I think she gave it back to them to watch. I'm probably right.

Ryan himself is just a sap. He used to be Salene's sap before she realized she didn't love him and moved onto Pride before realizing she didn't love him either and that she was in fact a lesbian. He was also Lex's sap, in a non-romantic sense that is. Still is mostly. The guy allows someone who he could kill with his pinky to run his life. Well, used to. Ever since he got together with Zandra, Lex's ex, he's been growing a, dare I say it? Spine. This was the first case I'd ever seen this happen, where being with a woman actually made you stronger, May and Salene not included. Then there's Dee and Patch, the second couple to have this anomaly appear. Patch, pre-Dee, was spineless and the only company he had on a Saturday night was his hand and some lotion. He stuttered too. They had to be set up on a blind date because Patch was too scared to ask her himself. Lex himself had orchestrated it so I'm guessing you know how bad it turned out. After all, how well can it go when the only advice your given is:

"But if you're out on a date don't you bring her home late cause it's a sin." before being shoved out the door, then you'd be nervous and utterly confused to. Then again, whenever Lex gives you advice, it's best just to forget it. Or when he says anything to you at all. This is the man who when drunk shouts out "I'm a man - I'm a little girl." or ""Foreign types with the hookah pipes say: 'Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh'." while putting on his girlfriend's, Tai-san's, dressing gown.

Apparently after the horrid date, mostly spent talking about presbyterianism or the endangered phascolarctidae, Patch was walking Dee home in complete silence when he spotted a boat ride down by the lake. Something must've taken over him because he snatched her hand and pulled her down, saying "Let's go for a boat ride.". And they did. Right there on that boat they fell in love and have been together ever since. I say it's sappy and extremely cheesy. But I know very well that Dee can and will kick my ass so I'd rather just not express that to her. Patch is still relatively shy, but he's definitely much better than he used to be. And it's safe to say they have sex too, considering Patch doesn't stutter anymore.

"Do you believe in bdharma/b, like you do bad things bad things will happen to you?" Gel, or Lex's stalker, asked. I look down and there she is, dressed completely in pink and white with that stupid smile plastered on her face. What does she want?

"That's karma." she asked, her eyes as vacant as her brain.

"Then what's dharma?"

"In Hinduismdharma is the doctrine of the religious and moral rights and duties of each individual; it generally refers to religious duty, but may also mean social order, right conduct, or simply virtue." I finished the short definition before looking back at Gel who, I never saw it possible, appeared more daft than usual.

"Beat it brat, I'm busy."

"Fine. You don't have to be so mean." and with that, she stomped off. Finally. Whenever I'm in a room with her I feel my IQ drop two points. God I need out of here. Gathering my stuff, I high tail it to the empty chem room. No surprise there. It only takes five minutes for me to take out all my stuff and set it up again. I am once again allowed to return to my thoughts.

That girl's brain must be located in some remote desert island because she certainly does not have one. Why does Lottie even hang around her? Her and her brother, KC, should have more sense than that.

"Josh, are you off questioning the world again?" came the droll voice of Java, Ebony's oldest and most treacherous sister. She was top dog and liked it that way, making sure everyone knows so.

"My name is Mega."

"Whatever." she rolled her eyes, closed my lap top, and climbed into my lap, making sure that I had a clear view of her ample cleavage which was practically pouring out of her half opened school uniform top. Her hands fiddle with the fly of my jeans and it's no surprise what she wants. No point in resisting.

"Of course."

"Am I proving it wrong?"

"Only some aspects."

"Good."

So much for me being asexual. I think can live with that.

**The End**


End file.
